Beer Explosions (with video)

Ironically, it was only a few days ago that a friend asked me, "have you had any explosions yet?"  I immediately laughed it off and answered, "beer explosions... those really only happen when you put too much sugar in the finished beer right before you bottle it."  That last bit of sugar creates the carbonation in your capped bottle... too much and you'll get a bottle bomb.

So far, that hasn't happened to us, fortunately.  But we've also quit bottling for the most part.  With kegs, there is a spring-loaded airlock that gives way slightly if there is too much pressure within the keg.  This lets out the extra carbonation and prevents the keg from bursting.

Aside from serving finished beer, kegs can also be helpful in the fermentation process for this reason.  They can hold much more pressure from the build up of carbon dioxide than standard home-brewing equipment.   Lots of people ferment in glass jugs called carboys or plastic buckets; both have openings at the top where you can fit an air lock which is comprised of two cheap pieces of plastic.  The main piece narrows the opening of the fermentor to a little less than a centimeter while the second piece floats above in a reservoir of sanitizer or liquor (to keep bacteria from falling inside).  This floating piece allows CO2 to bubble out from within while keeping everything else out.

This normally works perfectly well.

Philipp and I brewed ten gallons yesterday.  It is a nut brown that I hope turns out like AleSmith's Nautical Nut Brown that is only available at your local pub in kegs.  No retail bottles so far.  Our standard practice is to brew ten gallons at a time so we both come away with a five gallon keg.  After mashing, we boiled 13 gallons of wort down to just around 11 gallons.  Each of our bucket fermentors will hold 7 gallons or so of liquid so our nearly 5.5 gallons of boiled wort fits just fine.  The extra gallon and a half of space is much needed for the krausen that will soon form during fermentation.  This is a foamy substance which resembles the beer's head and is a good sign of proper primary fermentation.

We had so much krausen and such fierce fermentation during the initial 18 hours after pitching in the yeast that it started to come out of the airlock.  We've had this happen before so I was not surprised but a little annoyed because there will be a mess to clean up after it drips out of the airlock and down the side of the bucket.  Regardless, fermentation was working very well and I was happy.

I decided to set up a time-lapse camera to capture the battle between yeast and barley sugar raging within the fermentor.  I thought it would be fun.   Why not?  I set the two fermentors inside larger pots and lifted them a couple feet off the garage floor to get a better angle with the camera.  I programed the camera to take a picture every ten seconds.

While working at home, I get the benefit of watching over the beer from time to time.  My dog Oscar was first to alert me that something was awry.   If a tree falls in the woods and no one...  

Yes, if there is a time-lapse camera present.  See for yourself:

If you watched long enough, you'd see the top of both buckets blew off due to clogged air locks.  It was pretty damn messy.  All over my car, all over the floor, all over my kegerator... an hour later, I realized I should look toward the ceiling.  That's where most of it ended up.

The Brewline:

Every brew session seems to be unique and you can't always plan on what's to come.  Just be safe and avoid glass carboys if you have any doubts.

Beating Beer Calories

Let's just cut to the chase... It can't be done.  Not easily at least.  Not without limiting your beer consumption.  Not without switching to light beers.  Not without dieting and exercising doubly.  Like I said... can't be done.

As the old saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover" but this time it applies to the darkness of a beer.  You may be surprised to know that a dark, rich stout like Guinness has far less calories than your typical IPA.  A Guinness draft is only 125 calories per 12-oz bottle compared to Sierra Nevada Pale Ale's 175.  A 40% difference.

Of course, light beer drops to around 100 or less.  Like the 64 calories of MGD's flavored water.  But, this blog isn't about light beer.  So... moving on.

This blog really isn't about mass produced safe beers from the BMCs of the world either, but I feel the following must be brought to attention:

Budweiser - 145 calories - 5% ABV
Coors - 149 calories - 4.91% ABV
Corona - 148 calories - 4.6% ABV
Heineken - 166 calories - 5.4% ABV
Labatt - 153 calories - 5% ABV
MGD - 143 calories - 4.7%
Stella Atrois 165 calories - 5% ABV

On average, your shitty BMC mass produced lagers are 153 calories and 4.94% alcohol.

How many of these do you drink on your average drinking night?  Four?  Six?  Nine?

Let's say five, because honestly, you don't actually drink as much as you tell your friends.  It's not college anymore.

So that's five 12-ounce servings of some terrible liquid BMC calls beer.  750 calories.  None of which will be burnt of in the act of blowing chunks.  Not at 4.94% alcohol.  Now, I like the sound of not puking, but it's still a ruined night wasted on BMC with multiple trips to the urinal followed by a morning of feeling bloated.

Now, how about this?

You drink just two beers.  They are both the same, extremely tasty, satisfying, sip-able, NOT CHUG-ABLE double IPA's from Flying Dog.  This is one of my favorite brews called Double Dog.  Now, the numbers.

Flying Dog Double Dog (Double IPA)

313 calories per 12 ounces
11.5% ABV

Sure, that's a lot of calories per beer but that's like consuming the same amount of alcohol as nearly 5 BMCs in just 24 ounces and in less time.  That's pretty good.  Less drinking, less bloating and no bathroom breaks.  Plus, you get the obvious satisfaction of drinking a great beer.

Resorting to the calculations of a double IPA is pretty extreme on the calorie side, so now just think of the countless craft berws in between that you could be enjoying for far less calories and packing an alcohol punch that none of the BMCs can.

Blogging and drinking shouldn't be about math, but today it was and I apologize.  This is one of the first I've written without a beer in my hand.  Good thing.

Today's Brewline:
Drinking beer means lots of calories but being conscious of counting your calories shouldn't steer you away from great beer.  Two safe beers carry the same calories as a single double IPA, but also bring substantially less alcohol, satisfaction, and overall deliciousness.

A decent little beer from Three Floyds called Dark Lord

Anyone who has heard of Three Floyds has probably heard of their special brew Dark Lord.  If you happen to be in this category, then you also know the title of this blog is a bit of a joke.  Dark Lord is far from decent and the exact opposite of little.

Let's step back a bit...

I'm one of the few who grew up actually liking the taste of beer.  It seemed like any time my dad had a beer, I was allowed a little taste.  I'd bet it bothered him that I never turned down his offers due to the fact that there are alcoholics in our family's history.   Either way, I always had a swig... just one... of MGD.  Gross, MGD.  But at the time it was glorious.  Beer from my dad, and shit, I liked the way it tasted.  I'd mention it to friends and they couldn't believe I actually liked the taste of beer.  What did they know? They were only 9 years old, like me.

Sure I roll my eyes at MGD now but I can't hide the fact that it lit a fire in me.  I'm sure you have that beer for you too.  I just hope it was something better than MGD.

A second beer caught my attention at a later age.  When I turned 21, MGD's bastard younger step-sister named Natural Light took a backseat proceeding my college days to a beer I now hate.  But at the time, I have to hand it to Blue Moon.  Oh God I hate Coors now, but like I said, at the time, Blue Moon was important for me.  Blue Moon was my gateway beer.  I left the BMC's of the world, that's Budweiser / MillerCoors to the layman, and moved on to something other than light beer.  Okay, it's a hefeweizen, but it IS something.  I started to realize other beers, better beers, existed.

Then...

The true revelation came a few years later.  I was reluctant to drink a pale ale based on my reaction to Rolling Rock.  You know, that olive juice with a beer label on it.  Wait, that might be unfair to say.  I was drinking Natty on a regular basis when I first had Rolling Rock.  I was far too beer-immature at the time although I've yet to have a Rolling Rock since.  But fuck it, Rolling Rock is owned by BMC now so I don't care.

Back to pale ales...  After hearing of my upcoming New Year's Eve trip to Chicago, my brother Jason asked for me to pick up some special beer from a brewery called Three Floyds for him that is no longer distributed in Ohio.  This beer, now legendary in my eyes...

Let me skip to present time just for a second: So legendary for me that it's comparable to Steve Yzerman, my childhood - tween - teenage - okay, twenty-something hero who I've never met but is God-like in the fantasy world I live in.  Who could possibly be that good to meet that kind of expectation?  Well that's what I think of Three Floyds' Alpha King Pale Ale.

Alpha King was the seed of my beer obsession.  "What the hell is this?" I thought as the first swig touched my lips.   "A drink only fortunate men have ever been lucky enough to have tasted."  That was me channeling Harrison Ford's motivation on set during the last takes of I. J. and The Holy Grail.  But shit, it was true.  This was the beer that changed my drinking life.

I loved it.  Bitter?  Sure.  And holy shit... all that flavor!  A new world opened for me, and here I am today, gushing and rambling on about it, but it's all true.  IPA's are quite the beer to jump to from BMC don't you think?  What a strong flavor differential.  This beer is why I started brewing for myself.  Oh, the possibilities.  But...

It's nothing compared to Dark Lord...  the end of the line.  Imagine, to the far left you have the watered down BMC and to the far right, the end all / be all... Dark Lord.

Dark Lord is nothing short of true legend for the beer connoisseurs world.  It's released on one day every year in one location in the United States... Munster, Indiana.  Unless you're willing to pay hundreds on eBay, this is the only place you can find / buy this beer.  It's considered one of the the very best beers in the world.  I must say, it's mystique and mythical propaganda and presentation from it's maker does not hurt it's popularity.

I could go on and on about what it is, how it tastes, how it smells, how it looks and most of all... how it feels.  But... That would be like telling you the ending of the greatest film ever produced without the opportunity of seeing it for yourself.

I will end with this...

Fortunately for me, I have great friends that look out for me and make that trip to Munster when I'm unable to which is how I've sipped on Dark Lord for myself.  Each time, it has been cracking open one of those black bottles before an extremely special occasion in my life.  The first was to celebrate my directing debut and the second... the night before my wedding.

Today's Brewline:

I have four bottles of the legendary concoction left... I can't wait to drink the next.  Not only for the Dark Lord, but also for myself since it will be one hell of a special occasion.

na zdraví.