Beer Explosions (with video)

Ironically, it was only a few days ago that a friend asked me, "have you had any explosions yet?"  I immediately laughed it off and answered, "beer explosions... those really only happen when you put too much sugar in the finished beer right before you bottle it."  That last bit of sugar creates the carbonation in your capped bottle... too much and you'll get a bottle bomb.

So far, that hasn't happened to us, fortunately.  But we've also quit bottling for the most part.  With kegs, there is a spring-loaded airlock that gives way slightly if there is too much pressure within the keg.  This lets out the extra carbonation and prevents the keg from bursting.

Aside from serving finished beer, kegs can also be helpful in the fermentation process for this reason.  They can hold much more pressure from the build up of carbon dioxide than standard home-brewing equipment.   Lots of people ferment in glass jugs called carboys or plastic buckets; both have openings at the top where you can fit an air lock which is comprised of two cheap pieces of plastic.  The main piece narrows the opening of the fermentor to a little less than a centimeter while the second piece floats above in a reservoir of sanitizer or liquor (to keep bacteria from falling inside).  This floating piece allows CO2 to bubble out from within while keeping everything else out.

This normally works perfectly well.

Philipp and I brewed ten gallons yesterday.  It is a nut brown that I hope turns out like AleSmith's Nautical Nut Brown that is only available at your local pub in kegs.  No retail bottles so far.  Our standard practice is to brew ten gallons at a time so we both come away with a five gallon keg.  After mashing, we boiled 13 gallons of wort down to just around 11 gallons.  Each of our bucket fermentors will hold 7 gallons or so of liquid so our nearly 5.5 gallons of boiled wort fits just fine.  The extra gallon and a half of space is much needed for the krausen that will soon form during fermentation.  This is a foamy substance which resembles the beer's head and is a good sign of proper primary fermentation.

We had so much krausen and such fierce fermentation during the initial 18 hours after pitching in the yeast that it started to come out of the airlock.  We've had this happen before so I was not surprised but a little annoyed because there will be a mess to clean up after it drips out of the airlock and down the side of the bucket.  Regardless, fermentation was working very well and I was happy.

I decided to set up a time-lapse camera to capture the battle between yeast and barley sugar raging within the fermentor.  I thought it would be fun.   Why not?  I set the two fermentors inside larger pots and lifted them a couple feet off the garage floor to get a better angle with the camera.  I programed the camera to take a picture every ten seconds.

While working at home, I get the benefit of watching over the beer from time to time.  My dog Oscar was first to alert me that something was awry.   If a tree falls in the woods and no one...  

Yes, if there is a time-lapse camera present.  See for yourself:

If you watched long enough, you'd see the top of both buckets blew off due to clogged air locks.  It was pretty damn messy.  All over my car, all over the floor, all over my kegerator... an hour later, I realized I should look toward the ceiling.  That's where most of it ended up.

The Brewline:

Every brew session seems to be unique and you can't always plan on what's to come.  Just be safe and avoid glass carboys if you have any doubts.

Beating Beer Calories

Let's just cut to the chase... It can't be done.  Not easily at least.  Not without limiting your beer consumption.  Not without switching to light beers.  Not without dieting and exercising doubly.  Like I said... can't be done.

As the old saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover" but this time it applies to the darkness of a beer.  You may be surprised to know that a dark, rich stout like Guinness has far less calories than your typical IPA.  A Guinness draft is only 125 calories per 12-oz bottle compared to Sierra Nevada Pale Ale's 175.  A 40% difference.

Of course, light beer drops to around 100 or less.  Like the 64 calories of MGD's flavored water.  But, this blog isn't about light beer.  So... moving on.

This blog really isn't about mass produced safe beers from the BMCs of the world either, but I feel the following must be brought to attention:

Budweiser - 145 calories - 5% ABV
Coors - 149 calories - 4.91% ABV
Corona - 148 calories - 4.6% ABV
Heineken - 166 calories - 5.4% ABV
Labatt - 153 calories - 5% ABV
MGD - 143 calories - 4.7%
Stella Atrois 165 calories - 5% ABV

On average, your shitty BMC mass produced lagers are 153 calories and 4.94% alcohol.

How many of these do you drink on your average drinking night?  Four?  Six?  Nine?

Let's say five, because honestly, you don't actually drink as much as you tell your friends.  It's not college anymore.

So that's five 12-ounce servings of some terrible liquid BMC calls beer.  750 calories.  None of which will be burnt of in the act of blowing chunks.  Not at 4.94% alcohol.  Now, I like the sound of not puking, but it's still a ruined night wasted on BMC with multiple trips to the urinal followed by a morning of feeling bloated.

Now, how about this?

You drink just two beers.  They are both the same, extremely tasty, satisfying, sip-able, NOT CHUG-ABLE double IPA's from Flying Dog.  This is one of my favorite brews called Double Dog.  Now, the numbers.

Flying Dog Double Dog (Double IPA)

313 calories per 12 ounces
11.5% ABV

Sure, that's a lot of calories per beer but that's like consuming the same amount of alcohol as nearly 5 BMCs in just 24 ounces and in less time.  That's pretty good.  Less drinking, less bloating and no bathroom breaks.  Plus, you get the obvious satisfaction of drinking a great beer.

Resorting to the calculations of a double IPA is pretty extreme on the calorie side, so now just think of the countless craft berws in between that you could be enjoying for far less calories and packing an alcohol punch that none of the BMCs can.

Blogging and drinking shouldn't be about math, but today it was and I apologize.  This is one of the first I've written without a beer in my hand.  Good thing.

Today's Brewline:
Drinking beer means lots of calories but being conscious of counting your calories shouldn't steer you away from great beer.  Two safe beers carry the same calories as a single double IPA, but also bring substantially less alcohol, satisfaction, and overall deliciousness.

A decent little beer from Three Floyds called Dark Lord

Anyone who has heard of Three Floyds has probably heard of their special brew Dark Lord.  If you happen to be in this category, then you also know the title of this blog is a bit of a joke.  Dark Lord is far from decent and the exact opposite of little.

Let's step back a bit...

I'm one of the few who grew up actually liking the taste of beer.  It seemed like any time my dad had a beer, I was allowed a little taste.  I'd bet it bothered him that I never turned down his offers due to the fact that there are alcoholics in our family's history.   Either way, I always had a swig... just one... of MGD.  Gross, MGD.  But at the time it was glorious.  Beer from my dad, and shit, I liked the way it tasted.  I'd mention it to friends and they couldn't believe I actually liked the taste of beer.  What did they know? They were only 9 years old, like me.

Sure I roll my eyes at MGD now but I can't hide the fact that it lit a fire in me.  I'm sure you have that beer for you too.  I just hope it was something better than MGD.

A second beer caught my attention at a later age.  When I turned 21, MGD's bastard younger step-sister named Natural Light took a backseat proceeding my college days to a beer I now hate.  But at the time, I have to hand it to Blue Moon.  Oh God I hate Coors now, but like I said, at the time, Blue Moon was important for me.  Blue Moon was my gateway beer.  I left the BMC's of the world, that's Budweiser / MillerCoors to the layman, and moved on to something other than light beer.  Okay, it's a hefeweizen, but it IS something.  I started to realize other beers, better beers, existed.

Then...

The true revelation came a few years later.  I was reluctant to drink a pale ale based on my reaction to Rolling Rock.  You know, that olive juice with a beer label on it.  Wait, that might be unfair to say.  I was drinking Natty on a regular basis when I first had Rolling Rock.  I was far too beer-immature at the time although I've yet to have a Rolling Rock since.  But fuck it, Rolling Rock is owned by BMC now so I don't care.

Back to pale ales...  After hearing of my upcoming New Year's Eve trip to Chicago, my brother Jason asked for me to pick up some special beer from a brewery called Three Floyds for him that is no longer distributed in Ohio.  This beer, now legendary in my eyes...

Let me skip to present time just for a second: So legendary for me that it's comparable to Steve Yzerman, my childhood - tween - teenage - okay, twenty-something hero who I've never met but is God-like in the fantasy world I live in.  Who could possibly be that good to meet that kind of expectation?  Well that's what I think of Three Floyds' Alpha King Pale Ale.

Alpha King was the seed of my beer obsession.  "What the hell is this?" I thought as the first swig touched my lips.   "A drink only fortunate men have ever been lucky enough to have tasted."  That was me channeling Harrison Ford's motivation on set during the last takes of I. J. and The Holy Grail.  But shit, it was true.  This was the beer that changed my drinking life.

I loved it.  Bitter?  Sure.  And holy shit... all that flavor!  A new world opened for me, and here I am today, gushing and rambling on about it, but it's all true.  IPA's are quite the beer to jump to from BMC don't you think?  What a strong flavor differential.  This beer is why I started brewing for myself.  Oh, the possibilities.  But...

It's nothing compared to Dark Lord...  the end of the line.  Imagine, to the far left you have the watered down BMC and to the far right, the end all / be all... Dark Lord.

Dark Lord is nothing short of true legend for the beer connoisseurs world.  It's released on one day every year in one location in the United States... Munster, Indiana.  Unless you're willing to pay hundreds on eBay, this is the only place you can find / buy this beer.  It's considered one of the the very best beers in the world.  I must say, it's mystique and mythical propaganda and presentation from it's maker does not hurt it's popularity.

I could go on and on about what it is, how it tastes, how it smells, how it looks and most of all... how it feels.  But... That would be like telling you the ending of the greatest film ever produced without the opportunity of seeing it for yourself.

I will end with this...

Fortunately for me, I have great friends that look out for me and make that trip to Munster when I'm unable to which is how I've sipped on Dark Lord for myself.  Each time, it has been cracking open one of those black bottles before an extremely special occasion in my life.  The first was to celebrate my directing debut and the second... the night before my wedding.

Today's Brewline:

I have four bottles of the legendary concoction left... I can't wait to drink the next.  Not only for the Dark Lord, but also for myself since it will be one hell of a special occasion.

na zdraví.

Mr. Beer Kits: Unboxing and How To

Enough with the speculation.  It's time to go through with impregnating Mrs. Beer with what I hope to be the world's most delicious quickie.

First the unboxing...

As stated earlier, I realized immediately that the bottles were not included and that I'd have to supply my own.  What is included however...

-Barrel / keg shaped, translucent-brown, fermentor with spigot.

-Can of Pale Ale LME (Liquid Malt Extract) which is the processed equivalent of malted barley which has been mashed - turning the starches in the barley into fermentable sugar.

-Very small packet of yeast tucked under the plastic add-on lid on top of the can of LME.

-Packet of "Booster".  This is odd.  On the packet, Mr. Beer proclaims that Booster will add to the alcohol percentage and the overall body of the beer.  On the back of the packet one ingredient is listed... corn syrup solids.  Strange.  Mr. Beer seems to have a thing for corn beer.

-An instruction pamphlet.

-And a small packet of One-Step sanitizer.



Now the "How to Mr. Beer..."

Step 01: Sanitizing

As expected, the first step is cleaning.  I tell most people, "half the time you're brewing, you're cleaning.  Prepare to be a part-time brewer, and a part-time hobbyist of the janitorial arts.

A ten minute soak for the keg with half of the One-Step packet in luke warm water is in order.  A can opener and a stirring spoon in the sanitizer is also necessary especially since you're not going to kill any germs on either of them by boiling later... there isn't a typical boiling step involved in this weird, truncated process.  Sidenote: There is no need to rinse your sanitized tools,  just drip dry.  It'll be fine.

It's also necessary to run the sanitizer-infused luke warm water through the spigot.  The sanitizer should touch all surfaces that the pre-fermented beer will come in contact with.  Be sure to sanitize the top of the fermentor lid as well.


Step 02: Warm the can of LME

Liquid Malt Extract can pour like molasses in January.  It's a good idea to draw some warm to hot water and let the whole can of LME sit in a bath for ten minutes or so.  This will allow you to easily pour it into your wort later.





Step 03: Add the booster to four cups of water

The booster is the first ingredient added to your brew pot (suggested 3 quart sized brew pot).   The instructions tell you to pour it in very slowly to avoid clumping.  They aren't lying.  It clumps very easily.  It looks much like plain old sugar.  I guess in this case, it's plain old corn sugar.

So far the process has been very convenient and streamlined but this clumping "Booster" is proving the opposite.  Eventually I decided to ignore the instructions and I moved the brew pot to the stove then fired up the burner to medium heat.  This seamed to help a great deal.  Soon the corn sugar was fully dissolved.


Step 04: Add the Liquid Malt Extract

Now the sugar water is ready for the LME.  I've warmed up the can and have opened it with my newly sanitized can opener.  It poured very easily into the brew pot and since I've not turned the heat up to high, there is no scorching.

The instructions say to stir in the LME and then bring it to a boil.  It's not suggested how long... it just says to boil.  I let it go for five minutes or so and then called it quits.



Step 05: Add hot wort to partially filled fermentor

I've filled the fermentor with filtered, cold water from the dispenser on my fridge to the suggested 4 quart mark.  This translucent fermentor has notches on the side which allows you to very easily hit the mark.

It's necessary not to skip this step because the boiling wort will surely cause damage to your plastic fermenter.  Maybe it goes without saying but the Mr. Beer fermentor is not dishwasher safe.

Next, the wort is poured into the cool water inside the fermentor.  Then the instructions call for more cool water to be added to bring the wort level inside the fermentor to 8.5 quarts.

Step 06: Add the yeast

Almost there... time to stir.  Mr. Beer says to stir vigorously before adding the yeast.  Surely this is to aerate the wort since yeast needs oxygen to function properly.

Now, sprinkle in the yeast.  The instructions suggest letting the yeast sit in the wort for 5 minutes and then stir vigorously one last time.  This seems strange to me but I do it anyway...

Then set and forget... add the sanitized lid to the fermentor and store in a dark place for at least a week.  I'll be letting it ferment for 3 weeks, but that's me... and my holiday travel schedule. (Sidenote: the top of the fermentor has small notches carved out so CO2 can escape from underneath the screwed on lid during fermentation).

At last, Mr. Beer has been conceived.

Overall it was a fairly enjoyable 45 minutes or so.  The Mr. Beer process will be a strange, head-scratching experience to the typical homebrewer but not a completely foreign venture.  Of course, as a brewer, you have much less, strike that... hardly any control over the outcome of the beer when using this kit.  This was off-putting for me but if the final product is decent, I'll be satisfied based on the extremely small amount of foreplay Mr. Beer requires.

The Brewline: Mr. Beer is the stream-lined Cliff's Notes version of beer brewing to what otherwise would be a typically complex novel.  Only time will tell if this abridged process can produce something worth drinking.

UPDATE: Twenty-Four hours later, there's not much activity inside the fermentor.  Hardly any krausen to speak of at all.  There are some bubbles here and there.  The only sign of hope is the faint smell of newly produced alcohol that can be whiffed if I put my nose very close to the fermentor's lid.  Fingers crossed.

Mr. Beer Kits: An Expected Disgrace to Homebrewing

Call me lame if you'd like but my devious scheme played out exactly to plan... It all started at the gift exchange of a recent office Christmas party.  I overspent the $20 limit by five bucks or so and picked up a Mr. Beer Home Brewery Deluxe Kit with the sole intention of taking it home for my own experimentation. The rules of the gift exchange were a complication since you're allowed to grab a random gift from under the tree when your name is drawn but when the next person is drawn, they're able to steal a gift anyone else has already opened instead of choosing a new one.  The extra catch is: each gift is only allowed to be stolen a maximum of two times before it is deemed off-limits.  Fortunately for me, the people running the gift exchange allowed three steals on accident and Mr. Beer was locked in front of me.

Luck of the draw?  It seems that way now but I'm preparing myself for some major disappointment.

First of all, it seems strange that any decent beer can be made in a fake plastic keg within an advertised seven days.  The fact that this thing sits on a shelf at Bed Bath and Beyond for months is just absurd.  Any time a real beer is brewed, tremendous emphasis is put on keeping the hops, and more importantly, the yeast refrigerated until use.  That's like leaving a bag of Tostitos open for a couple weeks and then expecting not to have a stale, cardboard bed of chips the next time you get a hankering for some delicious nachos.

On top of that, there really aren't any hops to begin with.  There is a can of malt extract that is labeled, "hopped malt extract."  Apparently this barley sugar is somehow infused with hop flavoring.  The yeast is in it's own packet but of course not refrigerated.

After reading the instructions, it also seems very strange that there is never a time to boil the beer for an extended period of time before fermentation.  Boiling the wort is a vital part to brewing let alone when you add hops at specific times during the process.  That said, I fully expect this beer to have a far from special aroma.  Maybe the bitterness will exist but boiling this stuff for a minute or two can't really produce much unless it's artificial.

Apparently there is a "Premium" Mr. Beer kit that is a step above the Deluxe kit I have here.  The main assets missing in my extra-inferior product are bottles.  It's a good thing I kept some empties from our pre-kegging, long, lost days of bottling.  The premium edition's bottles are just plastic with screw-on style soda lids. You might as well buy some two-liters of soda water, dump it, and fill with Mr. Beer if you'd like the same effect.  (Sidenote: you can use soda bottles for your own real homebrew if you'd like although it's not necessarily recommended.  Just make sure you use something like flavorless soda water bottles because flavors like root beer, cola, or even Mountain Dew will impose their pungent flavors on the plastic bottle for all eternity.)

The type of brew in my Mr. Beer kit also throws a major variable into the equation.  Mr. Beer claims a full line-up of beer ingredients to choose from to make nearly any type of beer out there.  Mine is a pale ale.  I must say, a porter, a stout, or even a red may give Mr. Beer a chance but now he's gotta handle one of the most delicate beers out there.  Pale ales rely on the perfect mix of malt and hops to make a beverage worth drinking.

Mr. Beer really has his work cut out for him in my house.  He's seen the inside of a lot of kitchens for the past decade or so and you really can't argue with his track record.  I'd fully expected him to disappear from existence years ago but he just keeps on kicking.  Maybe he's still around based on holiday gifting.  Maybe he's still here because most people have low expectations and he's a good conversation piece.  Or, maybe I'm way off...

The Brewline: Maybe I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.  Maybe suckling at the teet of Mr. Beer first hand will prove that he's the second coming and I'll quit homebrewing the appropriate way.  Or not.  Only time will tell.

Five Reasons Why YOU Should Homebrew Your Own Beer

When I first journeyed into homebrewing with my good friend Philipp, it was pretty intimidating. The list of equipment to buy, the crazy-sounding ingredients, and a commitment to cleanliness... strike that... sterilization really threw us for a loop.

"Dive in head first!"

That has become our motto when we try something out of the ordinary in our make-shift brewery. Nothing out there that was ever any good was easy to get off the ground. Brewing beer was definitely a new venture for us but it sounded way too cool for us to not even try.

I hope this post gives you that little extra encouragement to get started. For me, the icing on the cake was a conversation with an experienced homebrewer friend of mine named Ian. He had brewed countless batches of beer and summed it up in a simple way that I'll never forget. I'll label Ian's description as the number one and two reasons to homebrew...

1.) Ultimate freshness
2.) ...and YOU did it.

"It's like grilling a steak at home. Sure you can order it at restaurant and it will taste great but it will be missing that satisfaction of self-accomplishment. For brewing, you'll take pride in knowing that you were the one that mashed the barley, you were the one that decided the hop schedule, you were the one that fermented it in your garage. Aside from all that, I can guarantee you it will be the freshest beer you've ever tasted."

He was right. Even the worst batch we've brewed is still better than most beers we can pick up at the store because it's so fresh and brewed with love. It really becomes a passion for anyone that has a desire to create.

3.) Clone / Tweak your favorite beers.

Once you've purchased the basic equipment, the sky is the limit for what you can brew. Not only that, but you can hit the ground running in familiar territory by brewing a clone of a beer that you've had before.

With the power of the interwebs, you can find a recipe out there for nearly any commercial beer. Say you love something as popular as Blue Moon. A simple search for "Blue Moon clone recipe" will produce many results. Maybe you love a less popular beer like Russian River's Pliny the Elder. Same thing, just search for a clone and you'll have an ingredient list and instructions.

Not every clone recipe out there will produce exactly the beer you'd expect, but it will at least be a good start. Once you get the hang of what flavors, textures, and aromas are produced by each ingredient, you'll be able to modify recipes to your own liking. This type of tweaking is where it gets really interesting... this is where new, great beers are born.

4.) Sharing a one-of-a-kind

Philipp was concerned when we first started brewing that people would think we were dorks for getting into this. I saw his point since it was out of the ordinary among our friends but I was able to convince him that it was actually "the cool thing to do."

Fortunately, the latter thought came to life when we first started sharing our beers with friends. Unless you're Michael Bay, it's not often any of us are able to create something and then share it with others for immediate feedback. And, for something as unique as beer brewing, I've yet to meet someone who didn't think it was cool.

Even sharing beers that didn't quite work out the way you intended is a fun experience. A quick line of, "well, this didn't turn out great, but you should still try it and tell me what you don't like about it." You'll be surprised to find that your fellow beer-drinker will start to stick up for the beer that you considered a failure. He / She will find value in it regardless.

That's a great thing about homebrewing... each batch is genuinely unique. The ingredients you've used, the way you brewed, the temperatures you fermented, and all other factors truly make each beer you make a one-of-a-kind to this planet.

5.) Save a little cash.

I hesitate to even put this on the list because it's a bit of a misconception...

It is possible to save money by brewing your own beer but don't be misled into thinking it'll be very much especially since you'll have to invest some money up front into equipment.

Budweiser and MillerCoors don't use the typical beer ingredients which is why you can buy a 30-pack of Bud Light nastiness for $12. For one, they use a lot of rice. This helps them make a clearer beer and they spend way less when brewing since it's much cheaper than malted barley.

Now consider some craft brews out there like DogFish Head. Some of their beer costs $15 and that may just be a four-pack. When you buy a good beer like that, you're buying a lot of premium ingredients and a well-cared for work of art.

The same goes for homebrewing. The more ingredients, specifically specialty ingredients, the higher the cost. A typical 5-gallon homebrewed batch yields two cases of beer (48 bottles) and can cost you anywhere from $15 (if you're doing the all-grain method) to $75 (if you're doing the extract method). As a rule of thumb, you can expect your average price to be around $40 which will obviously save you money compared to the retail price of most craft beer.

The pros far outweigh the cons so don't let any of this scare you because I promise it'll be worth your time and effort. Especially when it hits your lips!

The Brewline: Getting into homebrewing can feel like jumping into the deep end... but you'll come out with your head above water and head right back to the diving board begging another turn.

Drink Ales... Not Lagers.

A good friend of mine (Adam) suggested that I start a blog about beer since I drink plenty of craft beer and also brew my own.  Like wine snobs, beer drinkers also have strong opinions about their beer - it just comes with the territory.  You know exactly what I mean, don't you?

In the case that you're just a beginner, you should first know that beer is split into two main categories... Lagers and Ales.

Nearly all beers are made solely of barley, hops, water, and then yeast.  Yeast is the key word here because that is what separates lagers from ales.  Lager yeast and ale yeast are much different.  Their purpose is to ferment the barley from sugar to alcohol.  Ale yeast works best in higher temperatures (around room temperature) while lager yeast works better in lower temperatures (refrigerated) and is a longer process.  Most commercial beers are lagers...

If you've ever watched a football game (I'm not talking soccer, although I'm sure it applies to you too) you've been spoon-fed the word "lager" for decades through major beer commercials.  Budweiser, Miller, Coors, Heineken, Stella Artois, etc... these are ALL lagers.  Nearly every beer you've seen advertised on TV is a lager so why should you know any different?

At some point, you've heard the term "ale."  Let me tell you something... you've been missing out all along because ales are the good stuff.

I have an extreme hatred of the giant corporations that are Budweiser and the semi-recently merged MillerCoors which I'll refer to as BMC.  I'll expand on that hatred some other day but for now it's important to note because it does make me a bit biased.

Lagers have a very distinct taste with the culprit being the lager yeast.  The moment I smell it, that obvious lager yeast smell is the first to reveal itself.  It's nearly overpowering and seems to consume the beer and take over the experience altogether.

Now for ales... Ales yeast still has a significant effect but it stays in the background.  The flavor from the barley and the hops take center stage.  I want variety in my beer and I want those options available to me.  Lagers just don't make the cut when you look at it like this.

Don't get me wrong, I'll drink some specialty lagers from time to time but most lagers out there are coming from giant breweries with the goal of creating a tasteless beer while falsely advertising a flavorful product.  Whether or not you're a beginner beer-drinker, I must urge you to stick with ales if you really want to taste the broad range of flavors craft beer has to offer.

Today's Brewline:  Skip over the lagers and shoot straight for the ales.  You'll thank me later.